Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Common Sense Rule #35

When buying prophylactics, pay attention to the size on the box.  We don’t do trade-ins.

Ah...I haven't even touched on the number of people who purchase condoms from me.  Sometimes I wonder if they are trying to impress me, because really hun, stopping for condoms at 2a is really impressive.

My favorite night was when I had this scrawny little white boy come in.  He had gone over to the health and beauty aisle and chosen his purchase for the evening.  I almost laughed when he brought me up the package...

If that kid weighed more than 100 pounds soaking wet, I'd be surprised.

That very same night, this well-built, big black guy came in.  He, too, went to the health and beauty aisle.  His purchase?
Notice the lack of size?

Now, I'm a firm believer in safe sex, don't get me wrong, but that doesn't stop me from wondering what that scrawny white kid was gonna use those condoms for.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Common Sense Rule #75

Grandma status comes
whether you are ready for it or not.

Well, it's official by almost two weeks: I'm a GRANDMA!  One month prior to my 39th birthday.  Yep.  My mother very politely pointed out that I made Grandma before she did (age-wise of course...she's been a grandma for 19 years).

Here he is.  The most adorable little baby boy: Emmett Alan, the son of my son Jacob and his wife Tiffany.

He looks just like his daddy...who looks just like his daddy. :)

It doesn't feel near as weird as I thought it would.  I have no plans to be a Nana, Grammy, or any other variation of it.  Just Grandma.  Maybe Grandma Cassie since there are five other grandmas and great-grandmas...

I haven't had a ton of practice with "young" grandmas (except my mom, but she isn't MY grandma).  My grandmas were both old and stayed home making cookies and banana bars and the occasional mix-up of grape wine instead of grape juice.

Even when I got to be a SAHM I was never a cookie-baker.  Unless you like burnt cookies.  Then I'm pretty good.

I've seen some "young" grandmas.  Some of them do not age well.  Now, granted, I still have three more at home, but I am thankful that my first grandchild does not leave me looking like some grandmas I've seen...

I think the worst one was at school registration one year.  "Grandma" definitely had seen better days (could she possibly have been my age now? I shudder as I remember the sight).

Mom couldn't have been much more than 21.  Her skirt was...short.  To say the very least.  Her cropped shirt showed her belly button, which was pierced...with a chain that went down into her...skirt.  I don't even want to think about where the other end was attached.

I try really hard to not be a judgmental person (frankly because anyone who sees me with my kids probably thinks I'm absolutely crazy), but there are times that I have to really fight back the incredulous looks I want to give people.  This was one of those times.

According to my children (well, the ones still at home), now that I'm a grandma I need to grow up.  I don't know.  If growing up means I have to age, I think I'll just be myself.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Common Sense Rule #50

If the bars close at 2a because they can’t sell alcohol after that, I can’t sell it either.
This is not a new law.

Sometimes people absolutely amaze me.  Seriously. 

Iowa State Law states that alcohol sales end at 2a.  Now this does vary from state to state, but if you have already been told to leave the bar because its closing time, why would you think that I can continue selling alcohol?

This past summer, I helped more people after 2a who did not realize this was a law than I have had the entire time I have worked at the truck stop.  I watch them wander down to the beer section, look through the doors, and very helpfully mention that beer sales stopped at 2a.

Most people were disappointed.

Some were surprised.

Some were angry.

Now if I had to guess, a good portion of these surprised individuals were low on the legal end, meaning barely 21.  So they were newbies.
Virgins of the bar scene.

But then there were the ones old enough to know better.
Too drunk to know better?

The angry ones?  Eh.  I don't get too worked up over those.  And I'd let them in on a little secret: I don't care what they think.  I'm just doing my job.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Common Sense Rule #5

The tie looks really sharp…until you turn around and I see your grey underwear since your pants are belted under your ass.

One night, while working at the truck stop, I had this really nice looking young man walk into the store.  He was dressed nice, even wearing a tie, which is odd for a Saturday night/party night.  He walked down the aisle to grab a drink and as he turned his back to me, I was accosted by the sight of half an ass of dingy, gray underwear staring at me.


You will occasionally find me discussing the fashion sense of this generation.  I will readily admit that I am baffled by what they wear and how they wear it.  And underwear seems to be the most prominent feature of an outfit.

Who started this whole "belt your pants under you ass to see how much underwear can be shown" style?  

Now, I'm not sure I believe the above statement, but I'm more concerned about why guys think this is acceptable.  Possibly they were tired of being objectified by women telling them they had a nice ass?  Because when pants are this low, there is no way to know how nice someone's "pockets" are...

My eyes don't even go that low to check out pockets...

Now don't think I'm just picking on the guys here, because I'm pretty equal opportunity...
The whale-tail ain't pretty either.

Of course granny panties don't fit the bill if they don't stay in your pants...

Best bet Ladies and Gentlemen?  Make sure your underwear is covered.  It really isn't a sight that people want to see, no matter where you are (well, in the privacy of your own home maybe).

Friday, October 10, 2014

Common Sense Rule #93

When you want to remember someone, make sure you call them by name at least seven times.

For those who read my post yesterday and wondered, "Who IS this strange, yet adorable creature that knows how to put thoughts on paper?" it's time you learned a little about me.

First of all, my name is Cassie.  I have many names, some unpublishable, but mostly good.  For the purpose of this blog, you can refer to me as Cassie.

Cassie (the Mom): I have four kids from 23-10: Jake, Stacie, Liam, & Declan.  I also have a daughter-in-law (Tiffany) and we are expecting our first grandson (Emmet) this month.

Cassie (the wife): I have been married for 19 years to my high school sweetheart...although I wasn't really his.  Mark is 10 years older than me and we've been through a lot together: owning our own restaurant, raising kids, and so much more that, many times, I'm not sure how we made it this far.  But we have and we're still here.

Cassie (the student): I decided to go back to school when I was...34?  Yeah.  I'm slightly crazy.  I got my AA with a music transfer from Iowa Lakes Community College after 2 years and moved on to Buena Vista University for my final two years...well, 2 1/2, but that's a different story.  My major is Music Production & Technology and I've got three minors: Vocal Performance, Business, and Digital Media.

Cassie (the cashier): I work for a local truck stop and I've been doing that since the summer before I started at BVU, so a little over two years.  This job is where my Common Sense Rules began and I created my own little following grabbing people's attention with my quick little lines.

Cassie (the storyteller): I have been a scrapbooker since Liam was a year old.  Of course I've had to give it up while I have been busy with school, but it's still near and dear to my heart.  I love how a picture can tell so many different stories and through my digital media classes I've learned so many different ways to tell those stories...I can't wait until I'm done with school and can start doing that again!

Phew!  Well, that's just a smidgen of my life, but I got my name in there seven times so hopefully you will remember me, follow me, and love me.  See you next soon!

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Common Sense Rule #8

Rest Assured, if there is an out of order sign on something here, I already know about it.
I work here.

I work at a gas station.  A truck stop actually.  So I see many people come through those doors...well, most of the time.  Once I moved to the overnight shift, my entertainment has dropped.  You would think overnights would be better because I get the bar crowd.  Nope. *sigh

I'm only part time.  But that's because I'm a full time student, a mom of four (well, three still at home), and have a catering business with my husband.  So I stay pretty busy.

Even though I'm only part time, that doesn't mean I don't have a pretty good grip about what's going on at the store though, it's like my second home.  Well...third.  I guess I should put my own home in there too. ;)

We have a washing machine at the truck stop.  Ever since I started there (two years ago), this washing machine hasn't worked.  Probably a good thing because the shower tends to back up into our backroom so I can only imagine what would happen if the washer worked.

One night, this friendly trucker came in to shower.  After he finished and returned the towels, he felt the need to explain to me that the washing machine in the back room didn't work.

Imagine my shock and awe.  I mean really.  There's only this note taped to the top of the top-loading machine that says "Out of Order" on it.

I guess in all the time I've worked there (and cleaned up after my trucker friends) I've never notice that.

Did I mention I excel at sarcasm?

Now imagine his shock and awe when I gave them that dead-eye look and said:

"Yep.  Hasn't worked for two years."

This happens all the time though.  My husband gets in my vehicle and says "Did you know you are low on blinker fluid?"  

Of course I know this...I put 100 miles on this vehicle every day.  With as many cars as I pass, don't you think I know when my blinker fluid is low?

Or the kids will tell me the cookies are gone.  

Of course they are.  I ate them.

Why is that people feel the need to state the obvious?  Is it their own shock and awe that prompts such statements to jump from their mouths?  Could it be that they assume they are the first to notice something?  You know what it means to ass-u-me, right?

Fortunately, I really do love my job.  I meet a lot of weird, awkward, and crazy people...but hey.  Lots of times I am too.  Just ask my kids.  Or better yet...don't.